A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a large week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

Our very own very first piece comes to all of us via xojane, the women’s website headed up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(I’m severe) of




Titled “
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,“ this part belongs to the „It Happened for me“ element that also existed at JANE mag and consists largely of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating individual experiences.

The private author of this portion, which I’ll call „Ariel,“ is truly bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies strike tasks to her male lovers but doesn’t time or often drop on females, she’s, she describes, theoretically, merely a “


Pillow Princess.“ (She additionally makes reference to by herself as „mostly directly“ and „straight“ at various other factors inside story.) The woman reputation began, she clarifies, when her basic lesbian hookup — a smokin‘ hot dyke known as Kelly at her university — transpired on the for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it immediately after which straight away fled the world fearing her own incapacity to execute such great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged duration.

She produces:

„naturally, phrase had gotten around that she and I had installed and that I’d remaining this lady dangling, which had the peculiar effectation of giving myself folk-heroine position. Kelly called myself a „pillow princess,“ and henceforth, I became one. It actually was like some sort of film conceit where the champion is actually recognised incorrectly as a hollywood and reaches drive in a limo and stay in an elegant hotel because of it.“

This it seems that totally worked out in her support, as she romped about in university connecting with lots of „aggressive types whom had gotten off from the indisputable fact that I found myself unwilling to leave a woman touch me personally.“ Post-college, she shifted for the internet, where she marketed this lady comfortable standing and often met up with ladies for NSA gender.

Close to the conclusion she problematically explains that whenever starting up with a female she’s not drawn to, she just shuts her sight and envisions someone else „while [the lesbian] does her thing.“ Often it seems like she desires ladies for eating the woman out because they truly are presumably much better at it than men are. She


go-down on them but „I’m not online dating all of them, and that I don’t believe i might want to have my fetish corrupted by taking care of somebody sufficient to surrender.“

I mightnot want to sit down near to Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided intimate experiences are consensual and she’s simply informing a genuine story of her life, thus I’m not necessarily certain things to label of this (and that I’m interested to understand what you create from it, if something).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Men Venture
) we
I Married a Lesbian (and that I’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, „tended for crushes on a single brand of woman: the star baseball user, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some were not.“ The guy wondered:

What-is-it that drew myself many times to ladies who had been same-sex lured? It really was not the stereotypical male fantasy about what these were performing between the sheets, plus it undoubtedly had nothing at all to do with a macho belief that I could change a gay girl directly.

In parts, the portion (which really does tred on some stereotypical ground) reminded me within this quote from

Girls Nearby

which I quoted in articles about feminine masculinity

„…if we had to produce another generalization about lesbian flavor, it could be that many you are powerfully attracted to women, gay or directly, breathtaking or perhaps not, which look as though they’re able to take care of on their own.“

The writer fundamentally marries a lesbian just who presented as right, in which he discovered their own ensuing sexual life as unsatisfactory. She would not offer him hit jobs and did not enjoy penetration but happily approved his choices of cunnilingus. When their own sexless marriage ended in separation and divorce and a drug relapse (for him), he’s seemingly thoughtful to their ex-wife’s challenge instead of labeling her as deceitful (as numerous of this commenters carry out):

She had originate from a conventional household who would are deeply embarrassed getting a gay kid. She may always have identified, but performed the girl best to cover it, probably wanting that her feelings might transform. Or she may have been like many women I known, and simply discovered the woman genuine intimate identity after currently getting hitched to a person.

What is redeeming about this article for me that the author’s conception of their own gender is generally without any the traditional male posturing any might count on in an item in this way (he even means themselves as „femmy“). Maybe it seems that method because males therefore hardly ever write on wanting strong, athletic, powerful women with short-hair; but it is refreshing nevertheless.

Really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their own stories, but it is really worth pointing out that both narratives frequently drive throughout the concept that room behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a „warning sign“ the guy missed, when penetration is hardly a specifically heterosexual work (it seems inclined Courtney feared the intimacy of entrance with a guy she don’t wish to be with, yet , you never know) and falling crazy, in the long run, is mostly about your own snatch but it’s in addition regarding the cardiovascular system and it’s really generally about having romantic feelings. Those enchanting thoughts are just what converts a hook-up connection into a relationship, in the end.

Eventually at


we a sweet tale straight from pony’s lips —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I believe this is actually the very first time the „First Time“ series provides featured a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian feelings for her, along with her companion reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian union and are nonetheless collectively now and the woman is a grown-up inside the armed forces!

It seems they will have yet to simply take their unique relationship from the closet, which can be slightly puzzling, but whatever

. [


: works out this tale had been composed before DADT was actually repealed, even though it just got published, for that reason nothing is puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up nice atlanta divorce attorneys means, unequivocally.]

The main focus in the piece (that is very attractive and sweet) is found on mcdougal’s breakthrough of
what lesbian sex is quite

We’d never ever gone down for each some other, and I also had been pretty sure that’s what we would meant whenever we said we wished to have sexual intercourse. (today I recognize that there is a lot more to fucking than slurping a girl’s pussy and calling it every single day.)

She concludes:

I know that a lot of people disagree regarding what virginity methods to a gay girl, but virginity is very subjective, plus it truly relies upon the person you’re inquiring. Some people might state entrance has to be included, but In my opinion it really is to the person dropping his/her virginity. If I feel just like i have lost my personal virginity, subsequently goddammit, i’ve!

I spent the majority of the morning and mid-day observing word press, racking your brains on what point i possibly could make about these parts. I thought a great deal about why we’d never publish „I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess“ on this subject internet site but can not get past the explanation that I’d fear 50 of you would vow never to get back right here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would battle together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure until the heat death of the market. We pictured some one publishing „I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess“ to you via e-mail and I envisioned the editorial meeting in which we would can that tale and all say „NO“ at the same time.

In trying to find a spot to gleam from all of these tales, I’ve tried to figure out what you would consider or state, and I also can not, and I need to finish this post today to increase the entire process of me personally finding-out what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time ever since starting Autostraddle, i have had gotten little idea what to state about a thing. Therefore possibly I should only ask you to answer — what’s the reaction to these pieces?

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